My life

I was just glancing through my facebook photos and saw some memorable ones, so i have decided to upload a few and share it. And all these photos basically summarised my life. Maybe that is the reason why i love to take photos, professionally taken or not, it is something i can keep with myself and take out and laugh or smile at it when i am older and perhaps when my memory start to fail me.

The past is something i reflect on, i mean, we cannot change the past right? so why not just accept the past and move on in the present. If you have something you regret in the past, then just make sure you don't commit the same stupid mistake or whatsoever in the present. Learn from the past. I don't think the past is something to be embarrassed of. Everyone has their own unique past and their own unique memory.My memory is something precious to me. Good or bad times. I treasure it all.

My Primary 6 fun shot class photo and it is also my favourite class photo!!
Can you spot me? Hehehhehe!

Racial Harmony day! Our is the only class with everyone wearing other cultural clothes! Sooooo proud of my class! And soooooo proud to be part of this awesome class!! :DD

Daphne zoey and me! Random but who cares! Daphne is one of the few friends i meet up with since we graduated from primary school!

Guzheng trip to Taiwan!!! Hehehhe! it was an awesome memorable trip for me. Damn cool to travel overseas with friends!!

Me zoey and Shiyang! hahhaha! Another primary school friend i hang out with! :D We all live in the same area! So we meet up often!!

Awesome guzheng friends!! All so pretty! hahahahah!

Me zoey jinpei! Hehehhe! One of the few secondary school friends i have made! KEEDING! I HAVE GUZHENG GANG REMEMBER?! MUWAHAHAHAH! ok la, but jinpei is one of the few friends from secondary schhol i meet up with even when we are in poly! :D

See all the chiobus? heheheh! It was prommm! And all these ladies here are precious friends of mine! :DD

Poyl friends! I didn expect to meet such nice girls in poly , i mean i thought i will have have like 1/2 close friends but look at this!! Muwahahah! I am obviously adapting well to poly life eh?

To my friends, if you are reading this, heh, thanks babes!
I am glad i get to meet so many people in my life!
heheh! Maybe time to add a boyfriend in to make it better? hahhah!
Kidding la, i mean romance i think it is something i should leave it up to fate! hahahahha!
But to all these people above, thanks for being my friend, you are in deep shit i tell you!
Cause you guys have no way to escape! Muwahahahhaha!
 Friends forever FTW! :D

Envoys Main Camp! :D

Wooohooo! Common test is over!
I was sooo busy after common test that i did not even have time to post a birthday post for myself on 10June :(
So what was i busy with?
The title speaks it all, i was busy with ENVOYS MAIN CAMP!! :DD

WARNING: This will be a long post! LOL

LOL, i should start off with how i know i was in the camp, all the GLs are freaking jokers man.
I was studying POA, my last paper when i received this call, basically, the caller said that my paper was lost and i have to take a retest. it totally caught me off guard, but i was still doubtful since the number is not the school number, the 6704, something but it starts with 9something, so i was like ok....
but on the other hand, my mind was kind of celebrating cause i totally did not do so well for my MIEC paper, and this retest could be like a chance! HAHAHAH
ok, but it is a false alarm, it is juts my GL calling me. Cheyyyy! LOLLL


So~ i went to the camp! :D
it is a 3 days 2night camp! Honestly i was quite anxious when i was going there, it is my first time going to camp alone, without knowing anyone and stuff, and i was scared that it might end up me being left out and stuff since there are people there who actually know each other and stuff, but when i reach there, everything went fine, i was sitting there and i know that i am not the only awkward one~ LOL!
We started off with the usual camp briefing or something like that which my GL say that they will actually give us a written test on it, totally fake!! LOL


After we are done, we start to move off to Block 50 in our groups, ( for those who didn't know block 50 is known to be one of the "haunted" blocks in ngeeann)
so i was like O_O... We are gonna sleep there?  WOAH.
But since it is like one whole grp of us, i think it should be fine,and yeap, it is still me typing here!! LOL
We went in to one of the class room, pushed all the tables back, put all our things and start our ice breaking,
basically everyone told something interesting about themselves, which is all very funny and cool,
ok we have dancers, singers, weight lifter, camp go-ers, thai, and "bimbo" in our grp, still got alot more, hahaha! our grp is so fantastically cool that i was soooo glad i am in the grp! :DDD

KEFKA!! 

We played station games and it was all fun and stuff, moreover KEFKA got first placeee! <3 we rock! HHAAHAHA :D
Unlike other camps i have been to, this camp was especially fun because everyone dares to cheer, dares to do all sort of silly stuff, which makes it suuuuper fun!! :DDD
 LOL i basically summarize day 1 with station games, but yeah, i am too lazy to go into details of each game :PP


At 11pm, we were brought back to the LT we started off in, and i was wondering what they are doing, maybe telling us what to do prepare for tmr? so i went there with a neutral heart,
and the LT was blasting music and everyone was dancing and partying and the atmosphere was so high and fun~
And then, they started to show us horror movies. LOL
yes, movieS.
i watched two horror movies, Coming soon, and the exorcist. When i say coming soon, i mean the show title, not a trailer, one guy in the grp actually thought that it is just a show coming soon, not shown yet and he was confused when the "trailer" actually lasted like 1 hour plus. LOL!


And when the third movie was just starting, i was called outside la, obviously for night walk. LOL
we have a team of 6 people, 3 guys and 3 girls.
they gathered us and kick start the walk by telling us some ghost stories and stuff,
and we were send to block 50 for our night walk. woohoo!
i was very very thankful that the guys in our group was not scared and are gentlemen, who actually looked out for us.

THANK GOD.

Basically they know most of the "ghosts" and they are like "Eh, xxx, don't scare us leh!!" those, so i was actually comforted, like oh, ok, acutally they are just people we know, don;t over scare myself and stuff.
What the helpers prepared for the night walk was acutally damn good and damn scary.
Actually i thought i would be scared even with friends, but i was not, i am surprised myself.
Seriously, the night walk made me realised what friends can really do to people. 
They are actually the reason i was not scared. * touched*


Ok, maybe i can share with you guys what made the walk suuper scary,
remember we watch horror movies?
yeah, they tried to mimick and copy as much as possible from the movie. i was pretty scared, there was actually "ghosts" chasing after us and stuff, totally scared the daylight out of me.
 but like  i said, thank god i have friends!!!
the settings where similar to haunted houses, i mean seriously, they changed the classrooms into horror movie  setting with a lot a lot of props, and alot of effort. the ghost even put make up and stuff.
there was one station there they tell us to sit down and there will actually be people who will grab your leg below and there will be a ghost who will pop out from behind to grab you and at the same time, someone will take photo when all that happened. LOL
But one guy in my grp did not get grabbed and did not see the ghost, so he was twisting while all the others, especially girls are screaming their heads off. LOL!
And after that he asked us and he was like, omg, i didn't know siah! LOL


Another station was in the toilet, which i think is one of the biggest sacrifice of the helpers, they are in the smelly toilet, and the toilet is flooded, and hot, with no air ventilation,and they even put candles, whcih makes the toilet even hotter and more unbearable.
the setting in the toilet was scary too, they smeared red wordings on the walls and toilet doors and on their faces and on the mirror too.
we have to open the cubicle one by one and there are different "ghost" or things in each cubicle to scare us.


I heard that the first few group who went actually cried, and they cancelled some stations.
One of the cancelled station is that the  lift will actually stop at level 3 when you are supposed to go level 6,
and when the  lift door open, there will be someone kneeling there and then there will be zombies and ghost rushing into the lift to "attack" you. Yeah, it was so scary that some people actually start to cry before they reach the  first station....


I ended my night walk at around 3.30 am?
And the rest of my group members actually came back later like around 4am plus.
My GLs who participate in scaring us only came back at 6am plus.
One good thing about this camp is that the waking up time is not so early,
we only need to wake up at 10am. hahaha!
but our grp got the wrong message and heard that we have to wake up by 9.
So being good campers, we actually woke up at 8am to prepare.
by 9am, our GLs then wake up to see everyone stoning; LOL!
and they were like, Why you guys wake up so early siah? 10 then meet leh... omg.. then she went back to sleep. And everyone was like :O. we woke up too early!! LOL


Day 2 was amazing race, we initially started off first, we are the first grp to go to the next station,
but we were held back at the other stations and the last  station was the worse one!!
we have to eat the sweet, sour, bitter and spicy stuff.
namely, garlic, onion, bitter gourd, green apple, small chilli and lemon.
i tried almost all, except small chilli and bitter gourd. i seriously cannot stand those!
i heard that one guy in our grp actually ate 6 small chilli at one go! LOL
he say he lost his sense of taste after that. xD
See! thats how awesome my grp is!! :DDDD
And onion turned out to be quite nice.. LOL
Just saying~ XDDD
Yeah but because our grp is held back too long, we were the last to go back for amazing race and only got 1 point :(((
LOL the change was pretty big, from 1st to last! LOL!!


And after that we played wet activities!!!!
It was DAMN FUN!!
Our grp are seriously all crazy and stuff and couldn't even care what was poured on us.
And for most of the wet activities, we are like wet from head to toe. LOL!!!
Some more some station is soap water, some is mud water. which we call it Milo. LOL!!!
Got one station is called Milo Dinosaur, which we have to cat walk there and dive into the water which is like totally brown and full of mud.
We have to make our cat walk as interesting as possible. which mine was kind of normal la.
But after we dive into the pool we have to squeeze the "Milo" into a container. and our grp totally filled the whole container up!! BEST RECORD! HEHEHEHHE! :DDD


And we bathed and in the night we each did our grp performance!!
Our response wasn;t as great as we expected, mainly because it has too many private jokes and stuff in it LOL!!!

Gotta get gad! XDDDD

But all the other grps were great!!! :DDDD

Love all the performances!!!! 

After the performance everyone went back to eat tibits and chit chat! it was fun and cool,
we just gathered together and chit chat, until we drop!! HAHAHAH!
ok la, we slept at 3am, going 4am....
Next morning was the best part.
Apparently, when we were asleep, some of the X-deaths came in to draw on our faces!!! LOL
And of course mine is drawn. -_-"
i got a harry potter scar on my forehead and they signed on my cheek. LOL
ok la, whatever, but i think quite a lot of people woke up when they came in, and i didn even know!!! omg....
And one girl was actually making a fuss about being drawn and woke quite a lot of people up, they even on the lights.
and i was asleep throughout -_-"
i think the rate i am sleeping ah, i can even sleep through earthquake -_-"....


And on the last day, everyone was drained, and we took photos and thats about all i guess.
HAHAHAHH!
ok, tatas!!

Time

Tell you what, if i could be granted an ability, i want to control time.
Time is the only thing that stays constant throughout.
They are the highest level of amount of damns i give attitude, and yes i need it!
Even though it is elearning this week for me, i have practically no breaks,
teachers still give us homework, but i think they assume that now that we don't have to spend time travelling to school etc, we have lots of time.
which we did, we do have some spare time.
And so, they all decide to cut short the deadline to enrich our lives.

Wonderful teachers they are. 

apart from that, lets just say i really really have just enough to manage with the short deadline,
they decide to further occupy us with projects, and twice the homework.
whats not, we have lessons using laptops.
like really webcamera and speaking into it and those.

How am i supposed to revise?

Unlike JC, you can fail all you want in school exams,
just don't screw your A levels,
but for poly, the marks are accumulative and we cannot risk.
if i want to go to university,
3.8 average is my minimum.
like what my sister say, there is a big difference between those who want to pass and those who want to do well.
passing is easy, but i am not going for just a pass, i want my distinctions.


Having said that,but  i am still me.
i will not go all crazy study mode to view my friends as rivals and stuff,
but i will try my best.
I don't really feel any need to compare myself with others, we each have different talents, capability, likes and dislikes.
why go against my own nature? it is just being hard on myself.
i might be bad at it, but it does not mean i am hopeless,
i rather be bad at it than giving up and not trying just because others is doing better than me.
I find it quite comfortable to be in the average range,
i know i am doing fine, and have people i can look up to and seek help.
if i am at the top, who can i ask? 


By the way, for those people who have the misconception that poly people are just slackers.
think again.
We just play hard and study hard.
tiring but we are surrounded by many such people, so thats what makes us awesome.
I don't believe in choosing between school and cca,
or school and relationships,
or school and rest.
i just go with the flow.
if i spend my life putting regrets, my life will be miserable.
i only live my life once. for those who believe about second life, well i do too,
but in this lifetime, it is only one lifetime, just live it to the fullest.
tatas!

New environment

 Hey people. Many things happened since BAOC.
But i was too busy adapting to school, so yeah, here i am!
i will try to blog more often!
But thinking that i need to type 6 blogs as my final project, updating mine might not be as appealing...
So if, IF i  went MIA, it does not mean anything happened, it just mean i might be too busy or something. yeah.


Well, poly life is hectic.
Yes the timetable is more relaxed, no strict curriculum, no reporting at 7.30 am in the morning, but doesn't mean you can sleep longer.
there are still lessons that starts at 8am, so yeah, for those who think that you don't have to wake up early, sorry to burst your bubbles!
Well, most of the lessons are lectures, for tutorials, is is mostly to go through the homework,
which you are expected to do, and to clarify your doubts.
So, not much of last minute studying anymore.
I joined quite alot of ccas,
which some might think i am like "siao" or something,
but whatever~
Cca in poly is not that strict, it is not compulsory to go, but best to attend.
I joined,

Mentoring, Rotaract, Japanese Tsubasa, Leo club and tried out for BA envoy.

I went for interview for mentoring and BA envoy,
well, what i can say is that  confidence is the key. i don't think i am supposed to disclose the BA envoy interview questions so, one advice is to be confident i guess.


I went for rotaract running man camp!
Well, it was fun, and i made friends,  even though my team didn't really win anything, but the games are fun at least. hahhaha!
 Btw, me and a guy paired up for the couple running man, and our team got the first place! WEEE!
And zoey totally scared the shit out of me man,
what i know is i turn one corner and BAM, her smiling face coming closer to me.
OMG. WHY WILL FRIENDS CHASE EACH OTHER?!?
but whatever, it is quite fun, though we died at the last minute, hahhah!


I made new friends too! But i do stick with the old ones too, fridays are the days i meet up with my secondary school friends :)
Oh yeah, i went for one session of japanese tsubasa too! the first session is quite slack, watching drama and stuff, but i am cool with it ok! TOTALLY LOVE WATCHING DRAMA.
Seriously, watch drama also got cca points?! COUNT ME IN MAN! LOL
Well, common tests are coming up and projects are piling up, so i shall not blog too long!
tatas!

Smile

 Hello, i am posting this just in case it might become my last post when school starts.
Today, i just remembered that when i was young, how easily satisfied i was.
I could just swing the swing at the playground for hours and not get bored of it.
I could spend the whole day looking at the clouds and forming different shapes and images as they passed without complaining.
I could talk to friends or my sisters for hours and hours and not runout of topics.'
And those are what i really enjoy.
Nowadays, i realised, in the past, how i cherished the monents i could eat Mcdonalds or KFC.
How i enjoy helping my mother or family members to do chores, without groaning.
How i could sit beside my sister and watch whatever she is doing with the one and only computer we have in our house.
But now, it is totally different. I eat fast food whenever i like.
I groan and whine when someone asks me to do chores.
I negotiate with my sister to fight for extra time on the computer. ( which issn't really happening anymore since i have got my laptop and she bought herself a iphone)


Simplicity really rocks. i love simple things.
but as we get older, we are expected to do more things and more complicated things.
no more simple things for us.
I just cannot figure out why,
in the past, i nearly have nothing but i did not complain or anything.Everything is neutral. And in fact, because i have nothing, i appreciate everything given to me.
but now that i have alot of things, i  complained, get bored, and things given to me are treated as though they are given for granted.
why?
I guess it is just because i got greedy. When better and better things are given to me, i forgot, i forgot to feel contented.
We shd be contented. Even with all these high technology and iphones and such, it still doesn't make me feel satisfied like i did in the past.
why?
I guess it is because i love smiles.
with all these technology, we become more and more IT savvy, people communicate through internet.
I don't know why, but the ":)" used by many seems fake to me.Well, for some.
I do use it too.
But i prefer seeing the facial expression, the smile on the face.
The smile what makes your heart feel warm and want to smile back too.
I miss those smiles.
So everyone, let's smile more! :D


Anws, i have some friends feeling depressed, be it relationship problems, or because school is about to start and you don't have friends, or you are in the course you hate, blah blah.
Just cheer up! Just try, try to think in a more positive light or something.
Really, i smsed my friends the day they went for orientation camp.

To make friends, the first step is to put down your phones.

Stop looking at your phones and try to talk to people. Just try. It won't hurt to try.
It may start off awkward, but who knows what will happen if you won't try?
well, i may not be a pro at making friends, but at least i tried, and am still trying.
yeah. good luck to my friends and really, stay in contact with me ah!
tatats! :D

Friends

 

Friends.

Tomorrow will be BAOC, well, I felt a need to post this, before tomorrow comes.

Taking the first step is forever hard, but once you overcome the first step, everything will be ok.

Tomorrow i am taking my first step.

It is not like i have not made friends before,

but if i recalled correctly, the last time i made friends alone is in primary 1.

I remember clearly, when my mum turned her back towards me and was about to make her way home on my first day in school, i was holding back tears.

Call me a cry baby or emotional person, i mean, seriously, i hate being alone and helpless.

And that  time, i was rather lucky, there was this girl beside me, i remembered her name, Jessy.

Omg, thank god she was extremely kind and consoled me when i waved my mum goodbye as though it is the last time i will see her like a drama queen.

Yeah, and i guess she was my first friend without any help i guess.

In kindergarten, i guess buddies and friends are assigned so yeah, i don't really have the need to make friends you know. It was about the same in primary 1.

With the help of those friends, i made more friends and the chain continues.

So this time, going for BAOC is about the same as the time in primary one, 

Except that this time, i will have to be mature enough to overcome this myself, without any drama, i hope.

To some people who actually reads this, you might be thinking, like oh come on, how hard is making new friends?

Well, different people find different things difficult.

For example i may find reading simple, but for some people, it is hell.

Well i did mentioned before that i am jack of all trades but master of none, so yeah, i just barely know everything on the surface. hahah!

ok i guess i am going a little off topic here.

So, tomorrow i will be meeting new friends, and putting on polite smiles. 

I won't call it fake, since really, what is fake? Behind all fakes, there should be some truth right?

I will just be myself, and act myself, prolly with some restrains here and there, but yeah, definitely not fake.

If i act fake, all i will get will be fake friends.

You reap what you sow eh?

If i didn't get to make any friends tomorrow, i want to remind myself that i still have friends.

it is not that i have no friends to start with.

I HAVE friends. And seriously, friends will always stay friends, it just depends on the way you treat it.

If you find that the new friends you made need more attention and neglect the friends you alrdy have, drifting apart is what you get huh?

But if you treat those new and old friendships preciously, then no matter what, it will not change.

For example, daphne might have gone off to scgs, but zoey and i are still her friend, we still hang out to chill and stuff.

So, yeah, if my friends are reading this, i love you guys loads! Please stay in contact!!

 Let's meet up once a year or something, and if i really lost my mind and drift off from you guys in the future, i apologise in advance and thank you, thank you for being my friend!

And surely, if we were once friends, even if we drifted apart, we won't be that far! JUST CONNECT BACK CAN ALRDY! If i notice that we are drifting apart i will thick-skinned-ly comment on fb, or sms you randomly! LOL!

I just cannot accept people thinking that it is fine to make new ones and forget the old ones.

Seriously, every friendship is precious. I wouldn't want to lose them.

Drift apart or not, for me, as long as we were once friends, i will still smile when i greet you! 

Unless you did something terribly wrong or you ignored meeeeeeee! Then thats another story. LOL!

yeah, so friends who are reading this, thanks, i love you loads, and please stay in contact with me!

Though i might appear cold or have cold replies, but seriously, i suck at sms, try fb-ing me! LOL

Please don't delete my contact to make space for new ones!!! GAHHHH! I WILL KILL YOUUUUUU! D:

Yeah, i realised how cheesy i am in this post. Just gimme a hole to jump into now.

tatas!

Sick

Yes, i am sick :(
there is always times where you are sick and you want people to know so that they can just frown a little and say"Aw, get well soon!" and be pampered~
hahah! i am a attention sicker! :D
it wasn't anywhere near serious,
i went out with mild fever and miraculously return without it, hope it is not cause i have passed it on to some poor unfortunate soul~ LOL
yeah it is cause by sore thorat which is still persistantly present, and followed up with cough.
i have no idea how to describe how painful it is to cough with a sore thorat.
yikes. but apart from those, i am fine~ :D


school is starting soon, and my orientation camp is just about 1 week away.
weeeeee!
i am not gonna go all gloomy again about making new friends again.
i mean seriously, if this all mighty gemini cannot make friends, the others shan't! LOL
I can't really talk now, if i talk my voice kind of sounds like the goblin or something that mumbles "MY PRECIOUS!" in Lord of the ring.
so yeah, no talking~


i have been pondering and yeah, i finally thought of something that makes poly better than jc,
whcih is exactly why i chose poly, i can't believe i've forgotten it!
it is that, whatever i will learn in poly with be finally something that seems more directly applicable to real life compared to the same old math,history and others learnt in JCs.
i want to learn skills that i can apply in life, more directly.
sitting on the chair and reading from the textbook, and doing worksheets are too boring.
though i am aware that in poly, we do have lectures and assignments to do,
but it will not be something i can do just from memorising stuff,
some something that i have to understand and apply in my own way.
yeah. makes things more interesting.
thats all i am gonna say today~
tatas!

Words

Ok yeah, call me over self-conscious or something.
But i just read through a few of my past posts and i realised that my language usage in the past is much much more fluid than my present.
Guess the past few months of idling at home have finally done some damage to my brain.
Time to brush up on my vocabulary!
I wouldn't want my new coursemates to label me as someone with limited vocabulary that only knows how to use simple words, such as "awesome"
However, i do find simple words a more direct way to express myself better.
i guess i will stick to comfort.
Whichever is more comfortable~


Speaking of words,
i often believe the chinese phrase of 祸从口出
meaning, whatever you said, may be the cause of your troubles/problems.
ok bullshit. ignore me and go google the exact definition yourself if you are really curious.
i am pretty lousy at explaining and expressing myself.
Got to improve on that too.. O_O...


short post!
tatas!

Changes

Well, If you have noticed, i have changed my blogskin! ^^
and i have started to blog again, since my previous post is like, almost 1 month ago! 
Hahah! i haven't been doing much, probably the reason behind my lack of posts,
too guilty for idling my time away~ :P


So for a start, i changed my blogskin! :D
Well, actually, apart from blogskin, actually i have been making changes to my life too.
 i mean, there are changes in my life now.
Well, each choice leads to a whole new opportunity and brings in changes.
But sometimes, there are just too much changes for some people to accept.
By some people, please include me, yours truly here. LOL


I think my last post stopped some where about me working?
Ok, i have got my O lvls results, and it is kind of not bad :)
At least i am satisfied with it...~ :D
Even though i got rejected by my first choice ( which is international business in NP btw...)
but i managed to get into my second choice.
If given a second chance, i would still put business studies as my second choice. So yeah, no regrets. :)
For my dear friends who are actually regretting that you didn't put JC or other courses,
all i could say is just give it a try man! Give it a chance, a chance to convince you to develop even just 5% of interest. i might eventually accumulate and TADA! the perfect choice in your life! :D
To change a crisis into a opportunity. (HAHAHHA! YEAH! my words of wisdom! spending weeks to watch about 200 episodes of pokemon is totally worth it!!^^)


Which actually brings me back to changes again.
So far, i am coping well... but i am still scared.
Everyone in poly seems to be very enthusiastic about hanging out and playing together, which is cool, but i am not very confident about my social skills.
I am those kind that don't take the initiative to introduce myself unless necessary. I don't really like to stand out..thats what i mean.
i hope i won't be the spoilsport during orientation :/
I need to expand my social circle man!!!
Another thing i am scared if is actually making new friends.
Well, since i have friends i knew from primary school to hang out with in secondary school, i am pretty much hanging out with just the same few friends i have.
So stepping into a completely new environment without any of my friends in the same course as me kind of makes me all jittery.
the friends i make is gonna be my important project mates so i better muster all my guts and make a few friends!!!!


Hahah! this post is getting kind of long, so i shall end here.
Btw, i also wish my dear friends who are separated from me all the best!!!
well, at least i could say that i am actually coping quite well with these changes somehow better than them..
If my friends are reading this, you are not alone, and lets try to enjoy ourselves!! ^^
And whereever your are, lets stay friends foreverrrrrrr! 
TATAS! :)


P/s: Just let me show off a little, i got myself a lenovo laptop! WOOHOO! :3

Tea Break

Well, i have been working from 27 nov till 22 jan,
and at home from 22 jan till now.
honestly, people might think, " WOAH, Shui, free time!"
but seriously, remember those days you are in school?
during holidays, you will kind of miss your friends and even the dreadful feeling of waiting for the bell to ring?
well, what i am currently feeling now is kind of worse..
you see, during holidays, you have homeworks, projects, ccas or even small little gatherings with your friends and the time passes faster,
but now, i have none of those and the boredom is killing me.
and rose still, i have no job -_-
most of the people i asked are looking for people who are able to work for long term,
so yeah, no chance for me :(


what brings me to think so much,
i was watching drama/variety show like always and just as the show ended, a sudden surge of emptiness enveloped me.
i recalled what i have been doing from 22 jan,
well, apart from visitings,
i have been at home all day, infront of the computer or on the bed.
and i recalled the plans i have made before O lvls ended,
how i looked forward to learning japanese, korean, piano, more songs,
but i am still here.
nothing done.
i have even want to do spring cleaning and stuff,
but yeah,
still nothing done.
so i feel kind of lost now,
i have nothing to do,
my friends are either busy with school or work,
and i am kind of losing contact with them...


honestly, i have no confidence in making new friends in poly, i am not a very sociable person,
to me, it takes me months or even years to find someone i am comfortable with.
all my friends are going to different courses, and those friends are those who have been by my side for years, and to really count, i have not make much new friends over the years,
i tend to stick with my friends, and yeah so that makes me hard to talk to,
so going into poly without any of those friends there for me makes me insecure.
but well, i guess i have to try, maybe i will make some awesome friends :)
but thats also anothe rof my fear, to make new friends and forget my old ones.
i fear that on my wedding day, or even birthday, i will be smiling and laughing with my new friends and did not even invite my old ones.
relationship is a delicate thing, probably the fact that i have not even try to love someone is because my hands are already full with handling friendships, whats more love?
by the way, if my friends if any chance, are reading this already kind of abandoned blog,
thanks for being my friend :)


ahh~, gonna start with spring cleaning first.
tatas :D