Just Wait and SEE

ticktockticktock.
time is slipping out of my hands as i am idling and typing this away,
but i think that it is worth it.
Whether people read it or not, this web is a place for me to type all my feelings and everything.
well, i have a confession to make.


i haven't been doing well for my prelims.
i barely passed most subjects and to be honest, i am disappointed.
when my parents asked questions whether it is out of concern or out of curiousity,
i always try to avoid it
or sometimes, i just give them a brief reply and try to act nonchalant about it.
but honestly i am not deep down.


deep down, i am desperately trying to avoid studies.
i am scared.
i am scared that what if i studied and things still won't go well?
what if i tried and it turns out i am trying too hard?
many questions are racing through my mind.
so everytime i think about it, i just get to vexed and i couldn't do anything.
which subject should i start first?
what if i forget what i studied on that very day?
will hardcore studying work?
is it too late now?
everytime when i sit infront of the computer , at times, such questions will flash in my mind, just like a subconscious mind reminding me.
but at that time, i will just brush it and and ignore it or avoid it like i always do.
yes, i am a coward.
so what?


i am someone who cannot stay doing one thing for a very long time, i get sick of things easily and new things always appeals to me.
i am forever busy.
you can say that i am actually a jack of all trades
but people seemed to forget the second part,
they are masters of none.
sad huh?
at first, they might be the ones that shines out the most and excel in it,
but evertually, people to worked hard and have real interest in it will outshine them and by then, they will have to source for new interests
and the whole cycle repeats.


For once i want to get out of that group,
i want to have my own interests and develope it
so that is probably why i am so distracted, all the time, all i could think is that i want to do this after this and i never seemed to really care about the present
and sadly i can see myself squating in one small corner of the room and crying my heart out just because i didn't admit this earlier.
so yes, i did.
i want to set things right
to proceed with all my plans.
first, i need to get through this thick wall called O levels after that i will have some free time and i will be free.
I can't wait for it.
if the price to pay for some awesome free time without regrets is just 1 month of studying,
i am in for it.


tatas! :)

Plans

yeap, lately, i have been daydreaming
i mean like seriously daydreaming.
i have been planning what i want to do after Os
ok let the oh-so-generous-ore-sama share it:

1. FIND A JOB!!!
   
2. Learn Piano/Keyboard Piano
3. Learn Japanese
4. Learn Korean
5. Revise my sign languages -_-"
6. Re-read awesome books, which includes library ones too! ^^ *nerd alert*
7. Go hang out with old friends :)))
8. Youtube LOL
9. Read Mangas
10. Watch anime + dramas
11. Revise my guzheng skills
12. Learn Guitar after Piano :/
13. Slim down
14. Update my old and outdated brain songlist LOL
15. Play Sims :D

YESS! I LOOK FORWARD!
yeah, thats all.
LOL random much? XDD
tatas! :D

#380 post!

Heehee! This is my 380th post!!
yeap, idk why, but i just breifly read through my past archives
LOL!
When i read through it,
i was like
ewww, am i THAT immature in the past?
LOL
I didn know i am such a ________ (fill in the blank!)
i mean like seriously, in the past, i am such a tellytale,
i talk bad things about others on my blog as though i am the only human being with emotions
ah well, sorry pals in the past, i have come to hate the past me too,
and nope, you are not the only one!
hahahha!
yeah, in the past i am such a emo kid and keeps thinking that my life is just like another sad tragic drama or something,
but actually,
i wasnt THAT dramatic but i guess i just reallllllllyy wanted attention at that time.


well, it is refreshing to know that now,
the fact that i hate the past me shows that i have changed now ( right?)
yes, and hopefully, for the better
just don't take things so seriously man,
there are ups and downs in life and we just have to accept the good and the bad ones and just stay positive and moooove on! ( wow i sound so noble here man!)


Accept it, people change.
when we are in a new environment, with new friends and new trends going on,
we change.
Believe me or not, we are constantly changing,
everyday when you gain a new knowledge, you change,
but whether it is for the better or for the worse is completely up to you man!


yeah, i just watched this variety show,
there is this guy saying,
lets say if you live up to 80 years old,
each year you have 365 days,
you actually only have 29200 days to live
and just how long is that?
lets say you have $29k,
how long will it take you to spend that amount of money?
in fact, you probably only need to buy one expensive bag, and its half gone and stuff.
thats how long we live.
一寸光阴，一寸金，寸金难买寸光阴。
if you put that into words, if time= money,
we actually don't have very long to live huh?


ok, i think i am abit off point,
but what i am trying to say is that we each were immature once, in the past,
but the thing is just to make sure you don't stay that way, and stay positive.
At times, it is ok to cry and weep and just laze around for abit,
but there is no use crying over spilled milk, just accept reality and move on,
in fact, try to prevent it from getting bad to worse by doing something!
人非圣贤，孰能无过。
no one is prefect, so i guess you only fail when you give up. :)

tatas!
PS: please clap for my thumbs up worthy chinese phrases! HAHAHHA! :P

Have i ever...?

Have i ever mentioned that i actually wanted to switch to tumblr?
but i is definitely not because of peer pressure or anything ,
it is mostly because of this awesome blog i came across,

HERE YOU GO :)


Yeap, it is a awesome website with load of nice and sweet and emo pictures
hahaha!
i kind of like the fact that tumblr gives you the chance to reblog so that i wont have to go against my conscienous and actually save this picture from her website like now :/
anws, yes,
another thing i want to say is that i have, a twitter account!
i wonder who will read this, but yeah,
just type ijuzme and you will probably find me..
oh wait, did i put my real name?
ah, if ijuzme fails, just try Zhenyun
one of those should work.
HAHAHHA!


yeap, distractions distractions,
i am always so distracted.
god bless me man,
o levels is actually coming in like 1 month time,
and to be honest, i doubt my abilities...
i cannot really bring myself to study,
even when it is prelim now. i am still happily typing this away
lalalla~,
but i actually hope that i will not do very well for prelims, i am scared that i will be over confidence and yeap, so i hope maybe for a 17? hmmm,
that should be a wake up call.
hahhaa!


actually i wonder who the hell am i actually typing all these for man?
hmm, is there even readers?
nah, i doubt so.
So yes, pros and cons, i can type all my feelings here and know that not much peopel reads it!
hahah!
( noticed i said not much? i bet there are still some!! :D <3 you peeps who bothered to read!!)
anws, yeappppp~
happy go luckyyyyy!
tatas!