Well, i have been working from 27 nov till 22 jan,and at home from 22 jan till now.
honestly, people might think, " WOAH, Shui, free time!"
but seriously, remember those days you are in school?
during holidays, you will kind of miss your friends and even the dreadful feeling of waiting for the bell to ring?
well, what i am currently feeling now is kind of worse..
you see, during holidays, you have homeworks, projects, ccas or even small little gatherings with your friends and the time passes faster,
but now, i have none of those and the boredom is killing me.
and rose still, i have no job -_-
most of the people i asked are looking for people who are able to work for long term,
so yeah, no chance for me :(
what brings me to think so much,
i was watching drama/variety show like always and just as the show ended, a sudden surge of emptiness enveloped me.
i recalled what i have been doing from 22 jan,
well, apart from visitings,
i have been at home all day, infront of the computer or on the bed.
and i recalled the plans i have made before O lvls ended,
how i looked forward to learning japanese, korean, piano, more songs,
but i am still here.
nothing done.
i have even want to do spring cleaning and stuff,
but yeah,
still nothing done.
so i feel kind of lost now,
i have nothing to do,
my friends are either busy with school or work,
and i am kind of losing contact with them...
honestly, i have no confidence in making new friends in poly, i am not a very sociable person,
to me, it takes me months or even years to find someone i am comfortable with.
all my friends are going to different courses, and those friends are those who have been by my side for years, and to really count, i have not make much new friends over the years,
i tend to stick with my friends, and yeah so that makes me hard to talk to,
so going into poly without any of those friends there for me makes me insecure.
but well, i guess i have to try, maybe i will make some awesome friends :)
but thats also anothe rof my fear, to make new friends and forget my old ones.
i fear that on my wedding day, or even birthday, i will be smiling and laughing with my new friends and did not even invite my old ones.
relationship is a delicate thing, probably the fact that i have not even try to love someone is because my hands are already full with handling friendships, whats more love?
by the way, if my friends if any chance, are reading this already kind of abandoned blog,
thanks for being my friend :)
ahh~, gonna start with spring cleaning first.
tatas :D
