jokies!

小明造句考‘zero’....

难过：我家前面有一条大水沟，很难过去。

如果：可乐不如果汁营养。

天真：今天真热。

十分：每妹妹只考十分，真丢脸。

从容：我做事都从容易得做起。

棉被：小雨的卫生棉被偷了。

便当：弟弟把大便当作每天起床非做的事。



小明 creative ~100%

造句~0%

hahas, its sort of stolen from my last time de blog, the msn one xD
i find it super funny :D most likely all my pri 5/6 frens shd know hahas, xD
anws, yeah just sharing it with my current frens :]
and those who haven see it xD
its just for laughs ok? xDD
hmm, its like all chinese very not fair,
so i think i will post some funny english jokie here :D


“Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses.
He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed.
The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services.
He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?".
The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.
" There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"”


“Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were going camping.
They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep.
Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: "Watson, look up at the stars and tell me, what do you see?"
Watson replied: "I see millions and millions of stars."
Holmes said: "And what do you deduce from that?"
Watson replied: "Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like earth out there.
And if there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life."
And Holmes said: "Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent."”


“A woman gets on a bus with her baby.
The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!"
The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming.
She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"
The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."”


“A woman rushed to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out.
She rattles off: "Doctor, take a look at me.
When I woke up this morning,
I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up,
my skin was all wrinkled and pasty,
my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out,
and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What's WRONG with me, Doctor!?"
The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes,
then calmly says: "Well, I can tell you that there ain't nothing wrong with your eyesight."”

A man observed a woman in the grocery store with a three year old girl in her basket.
As they passed the cookie section,
the little girl asked for cookies and her mother told her,
"No." The little girl immediately began to whine and fuss,
and the mother said quietly,
"Now Monica, we just have half of the aisles left to go through - don't be upset.
It won't be long now."
Soon, they came to the candy aisle and the little girl began to shout for candy.
When told she couldn't have any, she began to cry.
The mother said, "There, there, Monica, don't cry - only two more aisles to go and then we'll be checking out."
When they got to the checkout stand,
the little girl immediately began to clamor for gum and burst into a terrible tantrum upon discovering there'd be no gum purchased.
The mother said serenely, "Monica, we'll be through this check out stand in 5 minutes and then you can go home and have a nice nap."
The man followed them out to the parking lot and stopped the woman to compliment her.
"I couldn't help noticing how patient you were with little Monica," he began.
The mother replied, "I'm Monica - my little girl's name is Tammy."

During the Japanese Occupation,
3 Singaporeans, Ah Meng, Ah Seng and Ah Beng were caught for smuggling.
They were sentenced to death by firing squad.
That night, Ah Meng came up with a plan.
He told the others that the Japanese were afraid of natural disasters.
So he would cause them to panic, and escape in the confusion.
The next morning, Ah Meng was led to the wall.
The firing squad was lined up and the Captain commanded, "Ready.. Aim..",
but before he could complete, Ah Meng shouted, " Earthquake!! Earthquake!"
The Japanese soldiers panicked and Ah Meng made his escape.
Later, the soldiers took Ah Seng out and the firing squad were ready.
The captain commanded, "Ready... Aim..." This time Ah Seng shouted.
" Flood! Flood!!" Again, the Japanese soldiers panicked and this time, Ah Seng made his escape.
Observing all this, Ah Beng began to get the idea.
"It's important to get the timing right."
Soon, it was Ah Beng's turn.
"Timing, that's the key.." Ah Beng kept saying to himself.
The soldiers lined up in front of him.
The captain started, "Ready..."
"Timing," Ah Beng thought to himself
"Aim..."
"Okay," thought Ah Beng, and shouted, " FIRE!!! FIRE!!! "

A young blonde woman went into a bank to withdraw some money.
For security purposes the cashier asked her if she could identify herself.
She opened her handbag and took out a small mirror,
looked into it and said,"Yes, it's me all right."

haha all are taken from internet :D
happy reading~