erm...well..

well.. the chinese results is out and i got the first place in my CL class ONLY
i feel quite disappointed..coz i only got 46/60 adn i got the first place..there no meaning lar..to me..it is like no compeitition...not fun

i didn feel any sense of happiness at all..maybe abit..for a few minutes where the class clapped and i no longer feel 'invisible'..just for that bit..that small bit..

and currently i am feeling super stressed up!!!

you must be thinking why stress? you in BEST class and got the highest!isnt it good?

not really to me.. i maybe in the best class for the chinese but there is still a HMT class mah and worst..a girl(from anothe rclass but come to my class for CL) said that 1D highest is 47/60 and our class ONLY got 46/60 i feel guilty about it....i AM in the BEST class after all..i shd at least win other classes that is not in my class!AND i ONLY got 46/60 it makes me feel..guilty?
you see in my old sch..my dear dear 6L 46/60 is NOTHING it is just the average or sth like that or maybe the last..i am really veyr stress too..after this ppl may expect more from me or wad and i will feel guilty if i failed their expectations..

but here i shall say it first..dont expect too high on me..i can give LOW performance at times too..