ok..

ok, i am not sure why i am posting this
and i was certain that i am not gonna post this in my life
but like i said,
i am not sure why.


I know this might disappoint some ppl,
or maybe even alot of ppl,
but i have to say that i dislike being a leader.
not gonna specify but those who knows me should get it.
i dont know why i just finds it ridiculous.
even the reason why i am elected is ridiculous.
apparently ppl just finds my name nice etc etc, and votes without knowing who i am
and they supported to ensure that the other candidate is not the leader.
and yes, it might be good,cool whatever lah
but i dont like it.


firstly , i feel useless..?
like i wasn't able to do much,
all i do is take attendence...? O_O
i dont scream or scold
and dont act like a leader at all
And i wasn't even chosen to take part in the cca leader camp or something
it feels like just a leader in the name.


Yeah, and secondly, not to blame, but its the members, and maybe even the teachers.
when it comes to decision making,
idk, i feel like just a spokes person.
like for example, in class,
when we are like suddenly being asked to stay back and the time clashes with our cca,
you guys would expect me to say it,
decide it on the spot and argue with the teachers.
worst part when i make a decision,
you guys make me regret it immediately,
i guess the main point in asking me to decide is so that when the teacher finds someone to blame,
the first person would be me..?


and i was very very stressed,
the teachers would often give me comments like,
" you should stand up and scold them more, scream at them or something."
" Be more active?"
"Please behave more like a leader"
seriously, i dont think scolding and scream would help us anywhere,
personally,
i dislike being scolding and scolding ppl unless needed.
and what more we are all schoolmates, why should i scold ppl just to show that i have authority?
wont the person being scolded feel annoyed?
and being active is just not my trait,
i am not a sporty,active person by heart.
and it just adds another question mark to the leader qualities.



So here i am,
i am extremely sorry that i am earning points despite the fact that i am useless.
i am sorry that i am useless.
i am sorry that i am not a good leader.
i am sorry that at anypoint, if i did offended you.
i am sorry for some of my empty promises.
i am sorry that i wasn't able to help the others much,
One vice is charge of training,
the other in charge of stock,
and one treasurer in charge of money.
i am extremely sorry that i was not of help to you guys
i am sorry towards all members and teachers .
Sorry.